What a Pain in my Ass
by xLovino.Vargasx
Summary: Rated mainly for swearing, and some other things.  Lovino, head of the Mafia did some careless dealing. Without thinking he jumped at the opportunity to get money for his brothers surgery. It was all ruined though, by../Him/.
1. Chapter 1

Fucking bullshit. He was caught. In the worst of places, too. Walking down the long corridor, he wished that the appointment never took place in Germany.

_"Hey, pretty boy... I hope we don't meet in the yard, you'll be my new bitch."_

He was usually so careful with his work. How could he have ever gotten caught? He just wanted to scream and cry out for his brother.

_"Keep moving. Stop staring. No talking."_

Lovino Vargas, was the name of this young man. Caught in action as he was accepting a deal with one of his 'sources'. He was so close to making himself a couple of grand. It was all ruined, though. By who, you may ask? The bastard himself. He got himself into something you might call, a predicament. There was nothing he could do about it now though. He could think back on how he could have not messed up, but how would that help?

_"You're staying here. Get changed."_

Why did this have to happen? And so soon? Wasn't he supposed to get one free call? He wanted out, now. He wasn't taking no for an answer. He just had to plan his escape, and fast.

_ "Don't stand there, move!"_

Maybe you're wondering how ended up in one of the worst places? It all started just a few days ago.

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><p>"Vargas, you there?" Lovino closed his eyes taking a deep breath, as he undid his tie and allowed his coat to drop on the floor, as he held his cellphone up to his ear.<p>

"Yeah, I'm here. I just got home, bastard. You couldn't pick a worse time to call me." The Italian let out an irritated sigh. It never ceased to fail that his men had gotten information just as he was about to do something.

"Well, we were able to contact him." The female voice on the other end of the line said. She sounded quite serious, but she let him know her happiness by humming in acomplishment.

"Which man?" The Italian asked, kicking off his shoes as he walked into his living room. He lit up the fireplace to warm up the house before making himself comfortable on the sofa, picking up a book that listed off various names, following with pictures and leads.

"Captain Reed, sir. He has some useful information about the shooting." The woman said. The sound of pages could be heard as it sounded like she was frantically trying to find something. "He said..." There was a small pause. "That the man who had wounded one of your men, was in a seperate mafia."

"Really now?" Lovino asked, rolling his eyes as he started to look through his own book. "And just... How is this supposed to be helpful? There is about... 20, probably alot more people, wanting to get a piece of my Italian Mafia."

"I wasn't done." She said. The pages flipping became more frantic.

"Then, give me something _/useful/_" Lovino really didn't want to play the guessing game. He had too many names to try to name off someone 'In a different Mafia'.

"He also said that the man you want, lives in Germany." Lovino felt his breath hitch in his chest. His father had been killed by a German man. Not one that was in the Mafia, but he was put on death road for getting caught.

"...Did he say anything else?" Lovino had to ask. He wanted her to have found out as much information as she could.

"Yes. He actually offered us some cash." She said. He could hear her tapping her pen on her desk.

"Why the fuck would he offer us cash?" He asked in surprise.

"Well, he works in a strange way. He said that he wanted to see you, in person. Apparently, you have something he wants. He said, he'd give us a couple of grand if you gave him one of the drugs we've created."

"Why.. Would he want our drugs?" Lovino had to stop and think. He couldn't just run in blind, accept what ever this guy was offering, give away one of his million dollar secrets, just to find out who shot his brother. He bit his lip, closing his eyes. His brother meant the world to him. Right now, he was in the hospital getting treated for a gun shot. It was all his fault, too. His brother, Feliciano, wanted nothing to do with the Mafia. He didn't want to be in it a hundred years ago, and probably wont for another thousand years. It was too dangerous, Lovino had to admit. He just felt so stupid when he heard his brother was shot in the stomach, and was in critical condition all because of him. He'd like so much as to know who had done this to his baby brother.

"Sir..?" Her voice inturrupted his thoughts.

"...What do you think I should do...?" He was desperate. He didn't want to make the decision himself.

"Me? Why.. Would you want my opinion? I'm simply the messanger girl." She said with a small chuckle.

"I want to do what is best for Feliciano, but I think this is a big risk." He said. "I need another opinion."

"What do you want to do Vargas?" Lovino actually didn't know how to respond. There was a little tiny voice in the back of his mind screaming at him to say no, but something was telling him to say yes and take a risk.

"... I think I'll go." He said, after a small moment of silence. Inside, he was beating himself up and saying _'What are you doing idiot? You're going to get yourself killed!_' but another part was saying _'It's your fault he's hurt. Take the risk, and get the money for his surgery!'_

"I think that's what you should too, Vargas." She said.

"Call up Captain Reed." Lovino told her.

"Right away sir. Is there anything I should tell him?" There was a million things she could tell him!

"No. Just tell him to make an appointment, and I'll do with it what I can."

"Yes sir. Although, you realise... You will be going to Germany. Who will you leave in charge?" He could hear it in her voice. She doubted him, she thought he wouldn't make it.

"I'll leave Griffin in charge. That bastard knows how to run the business almost as good as I do. I'm sure he'll be a great asset while I'm in Germany."

"Yes sir. Would you like me to tell him?"

"Yes." Lovino paused, as he flipped to a page in his book. "Also, tell Reed, if he messes this up for me, he's a dead man."

"Yes sir. I'll remember that. I'll talk to Sullivan right now, and get him to get in contact with Captain Reed once more."

"_Grazie_." With that, Lovino hung up the phone as he tossed it aside. All that was left was the crackle of the fire as it's light lit up the room, illuminating the pictures in his mini book. The book was open to a page, which was in bold title "CAPTAIN REED" with an underline headline "Suspicious Character." Tsk, 'suspicious character' his ass. Lovino could probably outwit that bastard in a split second. Flipping the page to where there was writing, he read over his little notes that others and himself have left.

_Diaz, Peter; I met up with him today. Captain Reed. He is quite a well built man. Muscular, blond... He's almost like any womans dream. He didn't seem suspicious. I met up with him by a local convinient store in Germany, where he told me to wait. He was exactly on time. He gave me information about my brother, and his where abouts. I followed them, and was able to retrive my brother. Good man._

_Cruz, John; He didn't look like a man I was expecting. He said that the other Mafia was planning an attack on us. How did he know that when he's always in Germany? It's not like he can just walk around Italy, get all his info, and then leave. Can he? It makes me wonder what he's saying about our organization._

_Harrison, Henry; He's reliable. I got the info I wanted, and was able to get out without a cop spotting me. Man, there are alot of patrols around the area he wanted to meet me in._

Lovino rolled his eyes. There was nothing special about this man. Half the comments that his men had left were either about how great of a man he was, or the strange meeting areas he wanted to meet them in. So far, none of the notes said anything about him being one to be afraid of. Just to 'be careful'. It was decided. When his desk lady called him back, he'd pack up, and go on the first train to Germany. He'd have to put together his plan, first. He didn't want to look too obvious, so he decided he shouldn't get fancy and dress up in a suit. He also decided to leave behind his trench coat and hat. It would almost pin him as a suspicious being if he were to walk around like he was a drug dealer. Unless, it was fall or winter. It was summer, though. He needed somewhere to put the drug too, so he needed to bring some sort of jacket.

Walking upstairs to examine his closet, Lovino picked out a dress shirt and a black vest, making sure it had pockets, and some casual black dress pants. One of the casual wears. He placed it neatly on his bed. He didn't want to think about the conciquences. He didn't want to think that there was a small chance he could fail. Reed seemed like he was reliable, but why did he want a trade like this? It was worth it, in his opinion. He blamed himself for what happened to his little brother so he had to be the man and 'man up'.

"Now just to play the waiting game.." He grumbled. Looking over to his nightstand he couldn't help but smile as he spotted the picture of him and his brother. He looked so innocent. Smiling idiotically, as he was holding a cake that had '_Happy Birthday Lovino'_ written on it. The picture was taken just last month, when his brother had gathered up some people and threw Lovino a birthday party. Why did he have to get hurt? Lovino groaned, as he ran a hand through his hair. He tried his best to keep the tears back that wanted to fall. His brother meant the world to him. For many different reasons. He was his brother, of course, but his brother was the one who cared about him the most. Sure Antonio was always there. He was the man who had taken him in, and shown him the way of life. Not, the Mafia, way of life, but one that was quaint. One he might have preferred over.. _This._

"Fuck.. I swear, Feliciano. When I find the man who did this to you, he's going to pay." The Italian scowled, as he turned over the picture frame so the picture was on the desk, not showing his smiling brother.

"I'll get the money..." The Mafia had actually just put forwards most of their money on a new drug, which paralyzes their enemies in a matter of seconds. With it, no one was a match for the Mafia. They only needed just a drop to get into the blood system of a person, and as cruel fate might have it, the blood will make it's way through the person in less than a minute and freeze the heart. Was that the drug the man had wanted? They actually only had one vial of it. If they gave it away, they'd have lost all their work.

"It's worth it.." Reassuring himself, he made his way back downstairs. He'd play it cool for the next few days, or weeks, not getting himself into any sort of business until she called back. With answers. He assumed he'd just have to speak to the scientists in his work, and arrange to take the vial. It was a win/lose situation for him, but for his workers, it was lose/lose, having to come up with something just as good.

"They'll have to deal with it. Feliciano is part of the family... The _real_family... He's more important than some drug." He declared, as he grabbed his phone from where ever he had tossed it. "Time to contact Simon. I'm sure he wont be too pleased with me..." 

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><p><strong>[[Short chapter is short. This is the start of my Germano fic, one of my favorite pairings.<strong>

**I love reviews, so feel free to leave one.**

**The next chapter will be longer, I promise~ ]]**


	2. One More Problem

**Hey~ Done this chapter. I just had to add Gil.**

**I tried to make it obvious who all the characters were. I bet you already know who 'Albino freak' and hopefully 'Captain Reed'.**

**Enjoy the next chapter. ALSO~! If you see a * beside something, It will say what it is at the bottom.**

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><p>Sitting in darkness, the room being lit by a single candle sat a blond haired man. He had a bottle of beer in one hand and a phone in the other. His hat was tipped forwards, covering his lazy eyes. He's waited a day for the phonecall back from the Mafia. So far they haven't been able to come in contact with him. Or maybe the fearless leader they always talk about didn't take the offer? This could be troublesome. All of his work would have been for nothing, or he would have just had to have thrown his work aside. He was thinking about calling his men and telling them it was off, when his phone rang.<p>

"Hello?" He took a sip from his beer, as he sat up ready to listen to what the person might have had to say.

"He said yes."

"When?" He almost wanted to jump for joy just then, but he kept his cool.

"Well, Captain Reed. He said that what ever time you want to make this, he'll change his schedule just for this."

"Great." He could relax. He didn't need to do anymore unneccesary work. This was his chance at last. He stood up, opening up a couple of drawers from his desk, looking for a little book. "Tell him to meet me... Tomorrow. 'If' he can make it."

"That means he'll have to get on a train by dawn, Reed." The other man sounded a little weary.

"That isn't a problem.. Is it?"

"Well.. Sir... I mean, he still has to do the preperations for when he'll be in Germany. You know.. In case anything were to '_happen'_ to him."

"Oh. Well, I guess you can call the deal off. That's the only day I'm free." The blond bit his lip in a little suspense, waiting for the other man to answer him. If he didn't take this deal, what was he to tell the higher ups?

"I'll tell him.. Sir." A big smile came across the blonds face, chuckling softly.

"Great. Tell him to meet me at a restaurant named 'Sophieneck'(*). It's in the heart of Berlin. I'll be there ar 6 o'clock, during the night." The man said.

_"Yes sir."_

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><p>"Fuck. I thought he'd want me to be there later in the week. This is bullshit." The Italian growled. Sure, he had packed all his stuff. He really wanted to get there as soon as possible to, for his brother. He hasn't been able to see his happy-go-lucky brother since the 'accident'. He hoped that this would pay off the expenses, without ruining his Mafia. "He'd better count his fucking lucky chickens I was able to get a train ticket." Lovino scowled, as he closed his eyes tight. What was he thinking..?<p>

"Ticket please." Lovino looked up as there was a man carrying a hole puncher. Rolling his eyes, the Italian dug in his pocket for the ticket he had bought, and handed it over.

"_Danke_" The man said as he put a hole in the ticket, and moved along. The train was unsettling. It was too quiet. All you could hear was "Ticket please.. Ticket" and the small chatter that Lovino didn't understand. There were some Italians on the train, but more of the people seemed to be German. He hated that language.. He remembered when a couple of centuries ago, when he was small, his grandfather had suddenly disappeared, leaving behind him and his younger brother. He hated him for that, but what he hated even more was the fact that the man who had apparently killed his father.. Was German. "Stupid fucker..." Lovino rested his arms on the table infront of him, letting his head rest in his arms.

"Sir. Would you like a hot beverage? The heater seemed to have broke down, and it gets cold at night." He looked up to see a young girl with a cart of baked goods, and drinks.

"Coffee, please. And not that instant shit." Lovino told her, sitting up straight.

"We only serve the finest coffee, sir. Luckily, this pot was brewed moments ago. You'll have the first cup." She hummed, pouring coffee into a clean mug. "One, or two sugars?"

"Two."

"Milk, or cream?"

"Cream, thanks."

"Would you like a blanket?" Lovino took the cup from the girl, looking at her.

"_Si_. A blanket sounds good." He took a sip from the hot coffee, having to quickly pull his head away from the hot liquid. "Gaah. It's hot." He stated the obvious, as he took the blanket from the girl, placing it on himself. He growled when he heard the girl chuckle at his misfourtune.

"If you need anything, just ask for me. I think I like you." She said, as her face gently went pink. "I'm Maria. Just so you know." She giggled, as she went on her merry way to ask other people.

"...That was weird." Lovino sighed, as he ran a hand through his dark chestnut hair. "Berlin is so far away from Rome... Dammit... Why did he have to choose Berlin, of all places?" He rubbed his temples. He looked up as he could see the mirror that was running along the ceiling. He looked so tired, he thought to himself. He was wearing a dark brown hat, along with a tan coat with 2 buttons across, that went all down his coat with a small neck that lifted up to his chin, that was tied together by a fabric belt of the same colour. He was also wearing dark jeans, and boots that rose to his knees. Although, looking at himself right now... He didn't look that scary.

"The chick was right.. It is kind of getting chilly" He noted, as he wrapped up in the warm blanket. Pulling out a small notebook, he began to flip through the pages. Ripped out and taped onto one of the pages was the small notes about Captain Reed. "I hope these bastards are right about this guy." He said, quietly looking through the different notes. He could feel his eyes starting to sag, as his eyelids were fighting him to try and close. Before Lovino knew, he was passed out in a matter of seconds.

* * *

><p>"ATTENTION. WE HAVE REACHED OUR DESTINATION. BERLIN, GERMANY. SORRY FOR ANY DELAY."<p>

Grumbling, Lovino rose his head sleepily. "What the...Hell..?" He was stunned and confused for a few moments, before he remembered about what his real intentions were in this vile place. Quickly he stood, reaching up and trying to grab his suitcase from the top of the train, where he was supposed to put his bag when he first entered. He really hated being short at that moment, because a strange white haired man had grabbed it for him.

"You can thank the awesome me later~" He said with a smirk, patting Lovino on the head.

"What the hell? I could have grabbed it myself, dick." He scowled, holding onto his bag. "I could kill you in a matter of seconds if I wanted to!" He hissed, but remembered that he wasn't in /his/ country anymore.

"_Ja ja_, what ever. I was just trying to be helpful." The man retorted with a roll of his eyes. "So! What are you here in Germany for? You don't look like you're from here." The man looked up and down Lovino with his red eyes, almost creeping the Italian out.

"Business. It's none of your concern anyways." Lovino placed his hands on his hips, arching a brow. "Now, move the fuck out of my way."

"So, you know German?" Man, was he persistant.

"No. I don't need to learn that shit of a language." He scoffed.

"Well, wont it be a little hard to get around..? H-haha! Oh man! That came out wrong!" The man seemed to be amused with himself for a couple of moments, laughing to himself with an irritating "Kesesese!" before he finally was able to look at Lovino again. "I got it! How about I show you around~?"

"Hell no."

"Well, how are you supposed to even get a hotel if you can't speak German?" The man rose a brow, seeming all-knowing.

"... You'll show me this stupid hotel, and leave. Got it?" Lovino couldn't help but think of how clueless he was with other languages. Sure, he knew Spanish, but how would that help in Germany?

"Great! I know this great place that's a couple of streets down from where me and my brother like to eat all the time!" Without even so much as a warning, the Albino man had grabbed onto his hand and started to forcefully drag him out of the train.

"Hey hey! Easy dammit! You're going to rip my arm out!" The Italian hissed. "And I still don't know who the fuck you are!" Without warning, the man turned around, making Lovino bump into him.

"I... _AM AWESOME_~!" He said with a laugh, before continuing on with his walking.

"What the hell? Hey! Get back here asshole!" Lovino hissed. Before he started to head after the strange man, he had to check and make sure the vial was still safely tucked in the the vest he was wearing underneath his coat.

"Not my fault you're slow." The other man mused, but stopped and waited anyways.

"Yeah, well... Fuck you too" He said, sighing.

"Don't worry, it's a nice hotel. Good sevice, nice rooms..."

"..." Lovino glared at him, as the other rose his hands in defense.

"Hey~ Don't go thinking like that! I was just commenting on their nice rooms!"

Rolling his eyes and walking ahead of the annoying prick, Lovino took out his little book. He flipped the pages of it, starting to jot down some small notes to hismelf.

_Note to self: Germans are annoying. I am never coming to this damn country ever again. I'd rather send one of the lessers out here than have to talk to another man like who-ever-the-fuck this white haired freak is._

"Oi, you're going the wrong way." Lovino looked up, and frowned.

"I knew that!" He hissed. "I'm warning you. Another word, and I'll pull a gun to your damn head." Lovino grinned, as the man stood confused. His smile faded when he bursted out into laughter.

"You're nothing more than a shrimp! Ha! You? Gun? You'd probably leave it on safety!" The other man looked surprised when Lovino took a glance back and forth, and pulled a gun.

"Shut up. Before I pull the trigger." His voice was dangerous, as the '_click!'_ of the safety getting turned off could be heard.

"H-hey! I was only kidding! Sheesh. You're a real prick." The Albino simply put his hands behind his head, smirking at Lovino. Who the hell did he think he was? He was acting as though even if Lovino pulled the trigger, he wouldn't die. "Anyways, you can't hurt me~"

"Says who? One shot to the head and you're as good as dead." He seriously thought he could survive a gunshot? No one could do that. Except for himself, Antonio, and Feliciano. Although, without surgery, they would stay in the state where they were injured. Feeling pain, just like a normal person. Which was why Lovino was so desperate. His brother has been hurting for a while... And he could only imagine how much he wanted the hurt to end. He'd been shot himself once, it hurt like fuck. Which was why he could only want his brother to feel better.

"Yeah yeah. I'm too awesome to die. You wouldn't understand." The other man snickered, and rose his arms in the air. "Here we are~!" Looking up, Lovino seen the big hotel. It didn't look too bad.

"Why are you helping me anyways?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I like to help short people."

"Excuse me?" Lovino looked at him, furrowing his brows. "You are just _/asking/_ for a death wish." He growled. He would have shot this man the second he seen him... Although, he needed this idiots help in order to figure out how to meet up with Captain Reed. So he would have to hold off on blowing his cover. He didn't want to risk not knowing how to do anything.

"Yeah, you're short. You know that? But, you kinda look bad-ass in that! Are you trying to pretend you're in the mafia? It kinda sucks, you know! Haha!" The man seemed so amused with himself right now. Rubbing his temples, Lovino let out an irritated sigh.

"Look. Get me checked in, and get the fuck away from me. Or I will call my boys, and get a hit on you."

"What..? You're gonna hit on me? Haha~ Sorry. Cute~ But... Not that cute!" The man walked into the hotel, laughing to himself.

"NO! I did not mean that! Stupid fucker!" It was useless though. This man, was full of himself. And stupid too. He wanted to get back to where he had control. Why hadn't he thought of bringing another man with him?

"I guess you want a good room, right?" The man turned to face him with a friendly smile.

"I don't care. I'm not sharing it with anyone. Long as it's not expensive." Lovino replied.

"Alright!" The Albino turned and started to talk to the man at the desk. They both spoke completely in German, and they were looking over to him, and gesturing. Finally after a couple of minutes, the albino turned around smirking.

"What?" Lovino looked at him a bit confused.

"You've got 403. It's a pretty decent room, if I do say so myself!" The man's smile grew, as he gently patted Lovino's head. "I guess you want me to go now, huh?"

"Yes. God dammit... You're annoying." Lovino hisses, rolling his eyes.

"You sure there is nothing... '_Else_' you want me to do?"

"You better not be coming onto me gay fucker. I don't swing that way." The Italian frowned as the Albino started to crack up in laughter.

"No! I'm not~! Just wondering if you needed anymore help~"

"Well, you could tell me where 'Sophieneck' is?" The Italian watched suspiciously as the other perked up even more.

"I love that place! It's actually a couple of blocks away~! Here. I'll give you a map." The other man took out a piece of paper, as he started to scribble a horribly drawn map onto the paper, going on about what streets to take, when Lovino noticed that there was a bird perched atop the others head. Why hadn't he noticed? Before he could say anything, the man passed him the paper. "Anyways~! I gotta bolt" The Albino said, lazily stretching his arms in the air. "See you later, shrimp!"

"I am not-! Fuck. I give up." He hissed. He was heading to the elevator when he noticed the man stop and turn.

"By the way, 403 is on the fourth floor. The first number co-ordinates with the floor!" The white haired man said, as he was walking backwards. "Good luck~ I hope you like Berlin~!" Waiting for the elevator, Lovino didn't even bother to say anything else. When he was in the elevator, he pressed the button that lead to the fourth floor.

"Thank **GOD** he's gone." Lovino grumbled. "I have never met a man more stupid in my life." He scowled. He got out of the elevator, and looked at the room numbers. On the right, it went up 420...421...422...423... So that was the wrong way, and on the left it was 419..418...417... He headed left until he finally reached 403, and walked in with his suitcase in tow. He threw everything down, as he looked around. The room was nice. It had beautiful deep red walls, and a brown and cream squared blanket design, with a bathroom, small closet, and a dark wooden nightstand that held a lamp. It had a nice feeling to the room. Smiling, he lay on the bed comfortably. He noticed there was an alarm clock on the stand, and he still had a few hours until he had to meet Captain Reed. Lazily, he took the alarm and set it so that he had an hour before the meeting. First, he had to make a call before a quick 'Siesta'.

"...Cindy?" After a few rings, a phone had been picked up.

"Yes sir?"

"I'm here... I brought the vial along with me... I'm meeting up with Reed in a couple of hours. Could you... Tell Antonio something?"

"Yes sir."

"If I don't return.. Tell him..."

"What?"

"He's an asshole and he has to do all he can for my fratellino." A snicker could be heard, with another;

_"Yes sir..."_ Lovino hung up the phone as he sprawled on the bed. Time for a good nap.

* * *

><p>"You there?" Once he had finally got outside, the Albino man had called someone on his phone. He sat down on a nearby bench, holding a picture in his hands.<p>

"Ja?"

"I got em'. He's in 403, just like you wanted." The Albino smirked, looking quite impressed with himself.

"Good job, _Prussia_. You finally came in handy for once." Was the reply.

"Hey! I'm useful!" The man complained with a pout, knowing full well the other couldn't see.

"If you're pouting, stop that. You may have been brought down from the position of power, but.. I guess you're still as good as you were."

"_DANKE._ At least /someone/ remembers how awesome I was!"_ 'Prussia'_ sighed happily. "And you know you can call me Gilbert! Just like mein friends~!"

"...No. Prussia is better."

"Ja, I know. I'm that 'awesome'."

"Are you sure you got the right man?"

"Of course! I got the cute little angry Italian with the curl. Just like you wanted!" Gilbert scoffed, as he was staring at the picture. It was of Lovino. The dark chestnut hair, strange haircurl... Gilbert couldn't help but think he's seen the face somewhere before...

"Good. You made sure he doesn't know, ja?"

"That the room was bugged? Why would I blow it for us? Stop worrying~! I got it all figured out!"

"You mean.. I... Have it figured out. Just.. Stay watch."

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><p><strong>*Sophieneck- I looked this up on google, and Restaurant Sophieneck is a great German restaurant in Berlin. I donno if it still exists, or how famous it is, or if I have the location correct, but... Yeah~!<strong>

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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